Conflict in the Workplace: Doggone Good Tips for Resolution and Relationships

Conflict in the Workplace: Doggone Good Tips for Resolution and Relationships

Two dogs share our lives. Luigi is a tiny Shih Tzu stray we found running along a road some years back. Hugo is a giant Newfoundland and Golden Retriever mutt whose sweet face beckoned us from the web page of a nearby animal shelter. These two dogs couldn’t be more different---in personality as well as scale. Together, though, the two of them have taught me some important lessons about conflict and its resolution. Here are five.

Bark if you must, but wag your tail, too.
Luigi is always the first to bark loudly at anyone approaching during our walks. And his bark is always accompanied by an enthusiastically wagging tail that says, “Hey, I'm on alert here but I’m also a friendly guy.” I think Luigi’s got something here…take on the difficult conversations in life while also making our friendly side clearly visible. Confronting and being nice are not mutually exclusive.

The person who makes us mad is more than the sum of his errors.
When someone does us wrong, most of us have a tendency to view them through a narrow lens, one that focuses on their “wrong-ness.” Hugo has been known to break the rules on occasion (sneaking up on the bed while we’re out is a favorite vice). He’s also very good at reminding me, in the midst of my chagrin at black dog hair on the comforter, that there’s much more to him than just the sum of his errors. He makes me laugh with some of his “goofy Newfie” behaviors and I realize once again that his rule-breaking is just one small part of a funny, loving dog.

Be persistent…when it matters.
Most people who’ve met Luigi see right away that he doesn’t lack assertiveness. We call him Mr. Clear Channel. At the same time, he doesn’t bother himself with the little things in life. He’s persistent about the important things: a warm dog bed, asparagus snacks (yes, indeed), a game of fetch, lots of lap time. He lets go of the little things that clutter both energy and time. You and I should aspire to do that with conflict in home and workplace relationships.

Turn the other lip…er, cheek.
Hugo’s lips are standard Newfie fare and he has enough extra that we joke about getting him a lip tuck. Luigi, the canine boss in our house, has been known to grab onto Hugo’s lip and tug when Hugo isn’t being sufficiently submissive. Hugo could use his massive size to bring an end to this, but he never does. He’s a gentle, peaceful soul through and through. Though his canine reasons for turning the other lip may be different than for a human who turns the other cheek, his ability to do this is a good reminder to end the stupid little arguments that can crop up any given day. When we look back on our lives when we're 100, what disagreements will we care about? Let go of the others and move on.

A good game of fetch always de-escalates tension.
Luigi and Hugo are masters at bringing the ball for play when they sense tensions rising. We could all use a little redirecting now then, right?